When we say the word “love".Probably, the love between Male and females comes into your mind. But the definition of love is broader than just the relationship between male and female. In psychology, it is one of the types of love called Romantic love. But there are many other types of love for example Parent's love toward their Children, Love toward brothers and sisters, Love toward Friends, Love toward Nature, Love toward Country, Love toward a goal, Love toward animals, Love toward teachers,s, and Love Toward inspiring leader. These all are types of love but we experience them differently. But romantic love is the most intense form of love.
There are many Philosophical views of love. The philosopher, poet, writer, and singer tell us about the definition of love. We mostly Understand and know about love through TV dramas and Films in which love is usually associated with Pain, physical attachment, and adversity. There was no scientific view of love before, But When Psychology emerged as a science the study of love has been started. Love is the most Complex Concept in Psychology and defining love is one of the most difficult tasks for psychologists. Researchers and psychologists have been studying this topic for the last 50 years but they do not still completely define and understand the word Love.
Love is a set of Emotions and Strong feelings toward someone and something which is often characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves Care, Closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, trust, happiness, imagination, Inclination, and sacrifice. Love is the world’s best feeling in which your beloved is more important for you than all over the world.
Love is usually measured on the scale of intimacy, passion, and Commitment, It can vary in intensity and can change over a period of time. Love is associated with a range of Positive Emotions like Happiness, Excitement, Life satisfaction, and euphoria but it is also associated with negative emotions like jealously and stress. Everyone doesn’t experience love in the same way.
According to Psychology, We made a relationship with others for our own benefit. In these relationships, we care about ourselves more than others. But in the case of love, we care more about our partner and even can sacrifice our life for him. We cannot understand the feeling of a lover until we don’t experience such feelings and emotions. It’s mean only a lover can understand the feeling of the lover. It is human nature to attract. Love is present in Human but it comes out in some special Situations.
According to a famous psychologist," Abraham Maslow" Love is an important human drive and a basic need for living and reached the level of Self Actualization. It has been Proved from 75-year longitudinal research that love plays an important role in our Happiness.
Why
do We Fall in Love?
Why a simple person becomes so special for us? Why do we fall in love with someone on first meeting and why sometimes it takes time to have love with someone? Let’s look at the factor which makes us fall in love.
Similarity: If two-person has similar Attitude, Belief, Value, Interest, perception, and personality trait. They will likely attract more than others. A person is more similar to others. They more liked the other. A person who is dissimilar to others, might not make a relationship with others.
Desirable characteristics: This general attraction attribute is particularly focused on an outer physical appearance that is found desirable and, to a lesser extent, on desirable personality traits. The characteristics we lack in ourselves if you find it in other people you make attract toward other persons.
Reciprocal liking: When the other person is attracted to you or likes you that can increase your own liking. If someone likes you, you will more likely to like them
Social influences: A potential union that satisfies general social norms and acceptance of the potential union within one’s social network, can contribute to people falling in love. By contrast, a union that does not satisfy general social norms or is not accepted by one’s social network can result in people falling out of love.
Filling needs: If a person can fulfill needs for companionship, love, sex, or mating, there is a greater chance that the other person will fall in love with him or her.
Arousal/unusualness: Being in an unusual or arousing environment can spark passion, even if the environment is perceived as dangerous or spooky (Dutton & Aron, 1974).
Specific Cues: A particular feature of the other may spark particularly strong attraction (e.g., parts of their body or facial features).
Readiness: The more you want to be in a relationship, the lower your self-esteem and the more likely you are to fall in love.
Isolation: Spending time alone with another person can also contribute to the development of passion.
Friendship: This Type of love involves liking someone and sharing a certain degree of intimacy.
Infatuation: This Type of love Involves an Intense feeling of Attraction without a Sense of Commitment.
Passionate Love: In this form of love Intense feelings of longing and attraction are involved. In this type of, love the Idealization of other people and the need to maintain constant physical closeness.
Compassionate Love: This form of love is marked by trust, affection, Intimacy, and Commitment.
Unrequited love: This form of love happen when one person loves another does not return those feeling.
Theories
of love Purpose by Psychology:
Liking
vs loving:
This theory was given by a famous Psychologist “Zick Rubin”. According to Zick Rubin; sometimes we experience a great amount of appreciation and admiration for others. In this type of situation, we enjoy spending time with her and want to be around her. But we don’t call it love, it is just liking.
On the Other hand, love is much deeper, more intense, and includes a strong desire for physical intimacy and contact. In liking, we enjoy each other company, but in love, we care for each other.
Element of Love according to Zick Rubin:
Attachment: In this element, we need to receive care, approval, and physical Contact.
Caring: Value the Other person’s Happiness, needs, and emotions as much as one’s own.
Intimacy: Sharing of private thought, Desire, Feeling, and emotions with another person.
Compassionate
VS Passionate love:
This theory was purpose by a famous Psychologist Elaine Hatfield. According to Hatfield, there are two types of Love
Compassionate Love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. In this type of love, a feeling of mutual understanding involves and share a respect for one another.
Passionate Love is characterized by intense emotion, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection. Unreciprocated love leads to a feeling of Despondent and Despair. This type of love last for 6-30 month.
The
Color Wheel Model of Love:
This theory of love was given by Psychologist John lee. John lee divide loves into three-part.
Eros: The word “Eros” came from the Greek word and its meaning is “passionate and erotic”. Both Physical and emotional passion is involved in this type of love.
Ludos: The term “ludos” is also a Greek word and its meaning is Game. This love is conceived as playful and Fun, But not necessarily serious.
Storge: It is also a Greek word that means Natural affection. It is a love between parent, sibling, and friend.
The combination of two or more love make another type of Love For Example:
Mania (Eros+Ludos) Obsessives Love.
Pragma (Ludos+Storge) Realistic/ practical love.
Agape (Eros+Storge) Selfless love.
Triangular
Theory of love:
What should you do if you love someone?
Be willing to be vulnerable.
Be willing to Forgive.
Show Affection.
Show unconditional love.
Prioritize spending time with them.
Reciprocate loving Gestures and acts of kindness
Share thinking about yourself.
Impact of Love:
Love, attachment, and affection have an important impact on well-Being and quality of life. It has following impact and benefits in our Life
Lower Risk of Heart Diseases
Better Health habits.
Less depression.
Lower risk of Diabetes.
Potential Pitfall:
It is true love is a pure positive Emotion but it can be
associated with Negative Emotion. It also has some disadvantages
Depression
Anxiety
Increased stress
Jealously
Obsessiveness
Sadness
Tips
to Cultivating Love:
Try Loving-Kindness Meditation: LKM is a technique often used to Promote Self-acceptance and reduce stress. It is also very important to promote Positive Emotions and improve interpersonal relationships. LKM involves mediating while thinking about the person you love and care about Concentrating on the warm feelings and your desire for their well-being and Happiness
Communication:
Communication is one of the best ways to express their Feelings and Emotions. Speak softly and make them feel special through their Communication.
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