One crucial thing we all wish we had known before reaching adulthood is that adulthood can be lonely! Whether you’ve moved away for college, traveled across the world, or been surrounded by crazy kids all day, the need to find friends is so important to our mental health as adults. Welcome back, psychos! Today we'll be presenting you with 5 psychologically proven methods to make new friends and curb your loneliness. Make sure you stick around until the end of the video for the bonus method that works every time! Also, don't forget to subscribe to our channel and to turn notifications on so that you never miss a video! And let’s get right into it. Starting with our first friend-finding method.
1. Building Friendships: Start with Familiar Faces
Start small, with people you already know. Yes, I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but it’s great practice and can get you out of your comfort zone to prepare you for other friendships because meeting new people can also be intimidating. Plus, you never know who you will get along with if you just give people a chance. Some simple ways to practice this method would be to wave to your neighbors, ask an old acquaintance or work pal to grab lunch or a coffee, or start a conversation with another parent at the jungle gym. These simple acts will bring a surprising sense of newfound confidence within yourself to continue on your quest to find great friendships. Or you can get to know your friends, friends. Next time there is a small gathering or get-together, make it your mission to socialize with your friends of friends. Chances are high that they will have some type of common interest with you that can be the basis of your conversation and maybe even the driving force to get together in the future. Starting with people you are already familiar with takes a lot of the worry and intimidation that comes with finding new friends. Give it a try!
2. Say Yes & Embrace New Opportunities
Say YES & stay open-minded. Socializing with friends of friends won’t work unless you show up to the gathering in the first place. According to the popular blog personal excellence.co, people who attend gatherings to which they’ve been invited to, have an easier time socializing and therefore making new friends! Turning down invitations to weddings, work parties, or your child’s classmate’s birthday party with the fear of ‘not knowing anyone there’ is the exact mindset that is keeping you lonely! Have a judgment-free, open mind with any situation that you feel could possibly lead to a new friendship or even just a new simple conversation. Because let’s be real, you won’t find any new friends if you aren’t willing to open up and be vulnerable. With this specific method, you will find your life-changing for the better in no time, with new opportunities and connections. Have you ever recklessly danced with your co-worker at the open-bar staff Christmas party? If not, you’re in for a real treat!
3. Be Genuine: Move Beyond Small Talk
Scrap the small talk and be genuine Do you ever ask someone how they are and then not really care to listen to the answer? We are in a generation of social avoidance and small-talk. People now more than ever, are hesitant to open up to strangers, family, and friends; and for this, we can thank social media. Nowadays, in the act of meeting someone new, the average person is fixated on their self-doubt with thoughts like “what should I say next” or “what is this person thinking of me”, instead of showing a genuine interest in active listening. To practice being more genuine on a day-to-day basis, try showing genuine warmth, love, and respect when talking to complete strangers. Step out of your comfort zone! If you ask how someone is, genuinely care for the answer - even if it’s automated on their end. If you practice true genuinity, you will attract genuine friendships.
4. Mastering the Art of Getting to Know Someone
Learn how to get to know someone So, you scraped the small talk. Now what? Learning how to genuinely get to know someone in today’s society is slowly becoming a lost gift. This is another one we can blame on social media and the idea that we already “know” the people we see on social platforms. News flash.. you don’t! According to an article released by girlschase.com, people who lead conversations come off as more confident, attractive, and trustworthy. Leading the conversation and getting to know someone really all comes down to confidence and respect in asking crucial and sometimes risky questions while keeping in mind where the question-boundary lies. Some great starters would be to ask what they do for a living, what are their hobbies, what are their priorities and goals, what motivates them, what are their passions, or what are their worldly views. Use questions in the right context, be genuine when asking and listening, and don’t forget to share things about yourself to avoid the ‘interview’ feel.
5. Embrace Authenticity & Stop Canceling Plans
Be yourself Getting to know someone is all fine and dandy until the questions are being reciprocated. Don’t fret, and don’t try to be someone else. Being genuine can take you far, but there is a fair share of genuine people who are not authentic. Authenticity is not only powerful, but it’s actually necessary for a long-term friendship. When meeting someone new or rekindling an old friendship, do not hesitate to share details of your life that you may be ashamed, embarrassed, or not happy about. These details make for an honest and authentic friendship rather than an acquaintance. Opening up about yourself also paves the way for a judgment-free zone that will make your friend comfortable enough to open up about themselves. Don’t hesitate to have boundaries of what you are comfortable talking about or what feedback you take about a situation, because, in the end, friendship is all about providing support and comfort for one another. Last but not least, the bonus method that works time and time again: Stop canceling plans! *News Reporter Voice* Plan canceling is on the rise with numbers at a dangerous all-time high. I know it sounds silly, but just as we are a generation of social avoidance and small talk, we are equally bad for canceling plans.
Let’s be honest here, even if you weren’t the one to cancel the plans, you were definitely relieved when the other person did! Stick with your plans and rehearse to yourself why you said yes in the first place. Talk yourself into the plan rather than out of it for the few days leading up to it. I promise, more times than not you will convince yourself to be excited about it, not to mention when it’s over you will thank yourself for all the fun you had
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