Are you the person who says sorry after every mistake or interaction? Do you go in for a hug and miss the cue for the handshake? Or maybe you never ventured outside of the ‘hows the weather line to strike up a conversation? Being awkward and shy is not easy, nor is communicating with someone radiating with awkward vibes. So if you’re ready to quit the shyness or at least begin convincing people that you're not an extremely shy person, stay tuned! Welcome back psychos, today we’re going to be discussing 10 tricks to use if you are ready to stop being shy and awkward for good
Number 1:
Choose your roll and avoid hesitation The basis of this trick is this simple: initiate all hugs and handshakes or don’t initiate them at all. The most devastating yet relatable thing about being shy and awkward is the beauty of very poor timing and hesitation when meeting or greeting someone. We’ve all been there, and we think it would fall in the top 10 of life’s most awkward moments. So, if you can’t finalize your decision to go in for a hug, high five, or handshake, don’t bother; and be sure you aren’t going to bother!
Number 2:
Ask questions Another struggle amongst the shy tribe, is the difficulty to converse with other individuals - especially strangers. Conversing can be overwhelming especially if all the heat is on you to listen and think of a reply; sounds daunting, doesn’t it? The best way to extend a conversation with a stranger or acquaintance is to ask questions! You don’t want to talk? Just sit back and listen. Every once in a while, you can reply with another question. This is a simple solution to avoid rambling, stumbling over your words, or coming off as a tense person when talking to others. Plus, this is a great tactic to use when first reading someone to help you get comfortable enough talking with them ie. a boss, new coworker, or new school friend.
Number 3:
Avoiding trying to take the awkward out of awkward silences You know the dreaded awkward silence we’re referring to. The silence at the end of a bad joke, the silence after a slightly offensive comment? The worst of the worst for an awkward person. The thing we have to know about awkward silences is that they are not meant to be rescued. Leave them be, or you may just find yourself in an even more excruciatingly awkward situation. Especially if the awkward silence was due to someone else’s screw-up, just sit back and embrace the awkward. If it was you that initiated this awkwardness, just wait a second or 2, a new topic will arise soon.
Number 4:
Get out from under your rock! There’s no doubt that the amount of awkward and shy people are on the rise, and you aren’t to blame. With social media and video game usage at an all-time high, people just don’t socialize face-to-face as they once did, and now we are seeing the repercussions. Many people nowadays don’t feel comfortable holding a conversation if it’s not behind a screen. The best way to overcome this is to consistently expose yourself to face-to-face conversations and eye contact. Due to our psychological nature, the best way to become more social is to step outside your comfort zone repeatedly until you are comfortable. You need to rewire your brain to no longer feel threatened when talking to someone face to face.
Number 5:
Be friendly If you're shy and frowning, you give off the vibe of ‘I don’t want to be talked to’. If you are shy and smiling, you look and feel more approachable. So, smile, smile, and smile some more! Being friendly or the very least, seeming friendly, is a shy person's best go-to alter ego. Regardless of you say one word, people like to be surrounded by people that are just generally happy. The happiness radiating off of a happy person is enough to make anyone feel comfortable and want to strike up a conversation, or just be in your presence. If you start out by just faking the happiness, sooner or later you will begin to actually feel it. Once again, repetition rewires the human brain. Before you know it, you’ll catch yourself being happy in social settings without even trying!
Number 6:
Don’t be so hard on yourself So what you waved at your coworker when they were waving to someone behind you or tripped on your way onto a busy subway? Humans aren’t perfect, and that’s just the way life goes. These relatable embarrassing moments happen to the best of us, the only important factor is how you manage them. Do you kick yourself and dwell on that moment for the rest of your day or week? Or do you brush it off and consider the embarrassing moment to be a humorous donation to whoever witnessed it.
Number 7:
Be early to gatherings There is nothing worse than showing up late to a meeting or gathering, whether you’re a shy person or not. Not only is all the attention on you, but you will feel jumbled and struggle with things like scoping out a place to sit, find a partner when the time comes, or follow along to whatever is being discussed. When you feel jumbled or disorganized and eyes are on you, it is an absolute recipe for disaster.. Be prepared to spill your coffee on your blouse or trip on the way up to your presentation. Yet, when you are one of the first people to arrive, this means that there won’t be one person you haven’t met. This alone will make you feel 10X more confident and comfortable in a group setting. The early bird gets the worm, so arrive early and be the most popular person in the place.
Number 8
Being your phone Scrolling on your phone, we’ve all done this in awkward settings.. Too quiet? Scroll on your phone. Too busy? Scroll on your phone. Sitting directly across from someone on a bus? Scroll on your phone. Whether you’re pretending to be texting or just scrolling through social media, having your phone on you is an instant escape if you are overwhelmed by your social setting. Having your phone out in these overwhelming settings or situations makes you instantly resourceful, while also allowing you to stay calm because you are doing something you are very familiar with. Use this tactic sparingly, as the main goal of a shy or awkward person should be to kick those personality traits in order to live a more confident life - which makes a whole host of things easier.
Number 9:
Worry less about what others think Worrying less about what others are thinking, or rather what you think they’re thinking, is something everyone has struggled with at one point or another. New dates, new jobs, presentations, etc. They’re all nerve-wracking, but they don’t necessarily have to be. According to the reputable blog Psychology Today, the thoughts and assumptions we have about what other people are thinking of us are almost entirely fabricated and are rarely true. Even if we think we are picking up on body language and social cues, we often misinterpret them. So, in other words, what you think someone is thinking of you is merely a reflection of what you are actually thinking of yourself. Therefore, you can practice making positive assumptions of what others are thinking of you, or don’t make assumptions at all! There is a certain level of confidence to reach that will allow you to no longer care or think about what others are thinking - this is our main goal.
Number 10:
Try new things Getting out of the house is the first step to this trick. Now that you are comfortable to leave the house and somewhat socialize, begin scoping things out that you’ve been wanting to try, or have been absolutely terrified to try. Trying new things builds character, maximizes your social interactions, gives you something to talk about, and pulls you out of that comfort zone that you’ve been relishing in. Start small like going for a walk in a new area, and then slowly challenge yourself with things like trying a new sport, or enrolling in a class to learn another language. Try 1 new thing per week and watch yourself grow as a person!
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