We all go through life learning and growing using the unique life lessons that are thrown at us, but each personality type ends up learning a few difficult lessons in their life that are unique to their character traits. Today we’re going to be talking all about the 5 harsh lessons that all INFJ learn in life, and why they’re so important.
Number 1:
INFJs aren’t the only ones with intuitions .there’s no doubt that the INFJ personality type is known for its strong intuitive abilities. In fact, most friends and family of an INFJ will go to them for advice or an alternative perspective on a situation because they know the accuracy of their insights. However, there comes a time in every INFJ’s life when they need to take a step back and realize that everyone has some level of intuitive abilities, and sometimes they need to allow people to utilize their own judgments. In fact, sometimes all that trust and accuracy of an INFJ’s intuitive strengths can even get to their head after a while, resulting in negative feelings when someone else may have picked up on things that the INFJ overlooked. Although it’s rare, there are times when someone else might actually have a better handle on a person or situation than this highly empathetic type, and in those times particularly, it can be extremely challenging for INFJs to let someone else take the reins. This lesson is especially important for an INFJ to reflect on when they feel overloaded with obligations and responsibilities that they’ve taken on. INFJ burnout is no fun, and when this type can comfortably allow other people to use their own intuition rather than being relied on, INFJs realize that boundary setting doesn’t have to be as difficult as it may seem. Plus, an INFJ’s intuition is only on point when they have the mental energy to fuel it, meaning it shouldn’t be on display for every passing stranger to utilize to their advantage.
Number 2:
Tough love isn’t always the solution highly empathetic yet also extremely logical, every INFJ eventually learns when tough love is the solution, and also when it’s not. INFJs are on a mission to get themselves and everyone else from point A to point B as easy and painlessly as possible, and they usually call on their intuitive logic for the directions. They want everyone to evolve into the best versions of themselves, and sometimes people need a stern push in the right direction - yet other times this tough love can only make matters worse. Of course, INFJs love very deeply and can feel the pain of others from a mile away, but when it comes to actually lending advice sometimes they resort to pure logic and strategy. Instead of using their empathetic nature by just lending an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, INFJs take other people’s struggles as a mission that needs to be fixed. They resort to mentally siphoning through all the possible outcomes of certain actions that can be taken because they so desperately want to remove the pain and suffering of others. So although it comes from a good place, sometimes, this logical advice can come off as being a little too pushy, too stern, and even unempathetic, especially when helping other feeler types. INFJs soon realize that they’ve missed out on chances where people turned to them for their heart rather than their intellect. Yet, they can use this realization to decipher whether they’re being called on for their heart or their heads for future situations. Overall, INFJs eventually learn that their introspective insights aren’t always needed, and that hugs and reassurance can go a long way.
Number 3:
People understand INFJs more than they think INFJs have this stigma of being the total black sheep, outcast, misunderstood member of society, which is surely accurate but only to a certain extent. Being one of the more extroverted of the introverted Myers Briggs types, the INFJ has the ability to connect with people on a seemingly deep level, but often types, they will still leave most deep conversations having shared almost nothing about themselves. They can trust someone completely, yet still only reveal themselves in stages - ultimately never really opening up fully. Now, it’s not farfetched to say that INFJs can and are misunderstood for their insights and opinions on a regular basis, but ironically, their hesitancy to explain themselves sends them on a never-ending cycle of first feeling misunderstood, and then second, unwilling to feel understood. This cycle is not only painful for the INFJ, but can also be hurtful for their loved ones who so desperately want the INFJ to feel understood and accepted. So, the lesson here is that not everyone is as close-minded and judgmental as the INFJ seems to think. Once this personality type realizes that their complexity is neither a strength nor a weakness and that everyone feels misunderstood on some level, they can begin putting a little more trust into the people around them. And over time, they’ll become pleasantly surprised at how relatable some of their deepest misunderstandings really are.
Number 4:
A big heart requires big boundaries Luckily, and unfortunately, this is one of the difficult INFJ lessons that comes sooner rather than later for most people with this personality type. INFJs love deeply and are fully capable of loving without limits, but to realize that the love they have for themselves should come above all else, can make the world of a difference for this highly empathetic type. Although it can be difficult to admit, most INFJs can think of a few times in their lives where the things they did in the name of love actually ended up causing more harm than good. A clear example of this being overstaying their stay within a toxic relationship. But aside from unhealthy romantic relationships that some INFJs seem to get magnetized to, this personality type also needs to be wary of when their unconditional love begins seeming conditional. INFJs need to learn to set a boundary around their intense fairytale perspective of romantic love. This imaginative type can easily base their love on the ideal person they picture in their heads, rather than the actual person standing right in front of them. INFJs have to realize that just because they have the desire to go all out when it comes to a romantic connection, not everyone functions in the same way, and that doesn’t mean they feel any less affection towards them. In the end, INFJs aren’t as equipped to receiving as they are giving anyway, and this character trait shouldn’t get in the way of a proper love connection because of societal expectations of how romance should be displayed.
Number 5:
Not everyone needs or wants to be fixed People are not projects. This last harsh life lesson is as simple as that, but for the 1-man rescue team, the INFJ, it’s not as simple as it may seem. INFJs have an unexplainable and oftentimes seemingly involuntary need for helping people that comes from not only their empathetic hearts but also their perfectionistic minds. Of course, this unique trait definitely has its positives that set the INFJ apart from the majority of the world, but it also requires some serious boundaries. As good as their intentions might be, it is not the INFJs job to push everyone they meet, kicking and screaming to their greatest potential. In fact, it’s not even an INFJ’s job to make the judgmental call that someone needs help in the first place. Just because someone isn’t living their life using the potential an INFJ sees within them, it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be utilizing their potential anyway. In other words, there’s no help in forcefully helping an old lady across the street when they weren't interested in going in that direction. The rewarding feeling of relating to someone enough to be able to help them in the way they need to be helped is a feeling like no other for the INFJ personality type. In fact, so much so that it can become addicting if not monitored with set boundaries. It can become so consuming that the caring and empathetic end of things is set aside because the INFJ is so focused on the next steps that need to be taken. This means, there’s little time for celebrating the achievements of the people they’re helping, making room for improvements but not for reassurance or even a simple “good job” along the way. This is when this strength does more harm than good.
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